IT’A ALL ABOUT YOUR POINT OF VIEW

I was having dinner with a family the other day and we got on the topic of money.  The wife was talking about her husband taking a wife. He is NOT so this is NOT going to be a post about. The point she ws making was if he did so what.

Ok so let me explain. I was asking her wouldnt she miss his income if he got married. she said no ; his money is his money. She has not right to it. I looked at her like she was crazy. I was like why isnt his money YOUR money too.

She was like NO. She said her money is hers but his is his.  She said HE has to provide for her and the family period. He has no choice in that. She said whe he gets paid he pays all the bills and give her x amount of money for herself and x amount for the families needs. She said the rest of it is not her concern. Oh yeah and she said he put x amount in the bank that is for their savings. This money is for them in case of emergencies and what ever. She said they have never touched it and it is a nice amount.

anyway, back to the story….. so she said untill he puts x monies into her hands it is HIS money and she is not conderned with it.

Me and my yeah right thinkin self really had a hard time chuggin down that pill. UNTIL i thought about it some more.

I had to rethink my view. I have my feelings beause I do not trust men enought to just give them 100% contol and to live like she does it giving that man 100% contol. she has to believe and trust he paid the bills, he will give her money….he will put money into the savings..I would be like what if he doesnt.

I guess this is what it is like to really trust in Allah. I have to accept that this is how it SHOULD be. Men are the providers and maintainers of women. It is his job to do the things he is doing. I guess I am so used to seeing no good men that when I hear about one that is really doing his job it shocks me. The really sad thing is I want to place my taninted views on someone when they are living right.

I was ready to get all Liberal woman on her and say girl you need to know where all his money is. Its your money too. When really She is right. It is HIS money. As long as he is taking care of his business what is it to me. Or really her either. She is not complaining. why should I?

so anyway she said if he where to take another wife she would not miss the money becuase it is not money she ever had. She said he makes enough to support 2 families easily. She said he would not take her and place her in another smaller home just to fulfill his desires. Family is important to him and so is she. She said IF he chose to marry again he would use his extra money..not the savings casue that is not extra but whatever he has left over.  She said other than him being gone every other day nothing would change.  She said one of the reason he didnt take another wife is living here is the Gulf is so unstable it would be unfair to do it until they are more settled. Once they finish their home they are building ( in his home country) then she is sure he will get another family. That way if they ever needed to go home they would have a place to go home to. She said he will only marry a woman that is divorced or widowed with kids. He does nto want or need a young girl when there are so many women and children that need help.

ok the man seems like a nice brother but am I crazy or is this sister just too trusting or what.?

can you really live like that and be completly depandant on one person? can you really be happy like that?

also to think her life woudl not really change to me is way off

I think maybe her lifestyle would not change but how is it her marriage would not change at all. I just dont see that. Maybe it is me. But i think she would be missing more than his time. Maybe its me but thats how I see it.

but i guess it all depends on the view…………..

~ by livinglifeandlovinit on January 3, 2009.