Do you owe your adult kids anything?

One day I was speaking with a friend of mine and she asked me was I planning for my kids future. I wondered what  they meant and they said money for them to live off of and planning for them to return to the States if they chose.

I didnt have to think about that much longer than a second. The answer was a loud NO! I dont feel like I have to. We have money set aside for them or us to go back to the states if anything happens. They have money from social Security from their dad. They will get that when they are older. But money just becuase. NOPE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN

I feel it is my job to give them a roof over their heads, feed them, clothe them, and give them all I can to make sure they grow up to be productive adults. THATS IT

I have to guide them and make sure they are equipped with all they need to make good choices as an adult. That mean to me, that I should make sure they get a good education now. I need to make sure they all go to school as long as they need  to in order for them to achieve their career goals.

I need to give them a strong foundation in Islam. I want to make sure they speak Arabic, read it and write it. This way they will have to only rely on others to tell them about their faith. When I see Arabic it is squiggly lines. Yeah I can pick out each letter but I have no idea what it means. They do. I want them to be able to read and understand not rely 100% on some man that chose to make a book. I need to make sure they know how to pray, when to pray, and the value of prayer. they need to know the importance of being a good Muslim and trust in their lord.

I think I need to expose them to as much as I can in order for them to experience life. I need to teach them right from wrong. I need to make sure they see people that are less fortunate than we are and give them many many opportunities to help them. They need to feed the homless, work some place in Africia helping to build homes, this is our next summer event inshaallah. They need to give out Ramadan bags like we usually do to help feed families that need food. I need to help them build a good strong character.  They need to know how to talk to an adult, how to behave in other peoples homes, in a masjid, on the street with their friends. These things to me are priceless. I could care less if I leave them a home, a car, some jewles, or money. I hope to leave here broke and just have enough for me to be burried and have all my bills paid. There is NOTHING more sad than a family fighting over money.

I Just dont feel it is my job to provide for their future in any other way. Working hard builds character and I do not want spoiled, ungreatful, rotten kids that will grow up into spoiled, ungreatful, nasty adults.  I remember this year a co-workers father died and she said she coudl not wait until the government gave her the money she was due cause she wanted a new car. The man was not cold yet and she was planning how she was going to spend HIS money.  NOT KOOL 

I would jump out my grave and whip them if I heard this kind of talk so my plan is to not give them a chance to do it. Yes, I will help them while I am alive. I would never turn them away if then need my help within reason. No I wont bail any child of mine out of jail if they did something worse than a traffic tickets they forgot to pay or maybe a bounced check. I can understand those things. I wont help them with anything that I feel they should be doing themselves.  LIek no way would I give my son money to get a home for a second wife. If he cant fo it his self then he just cant do it. That is an extra…….

I just dont feel all this need to material things is usefull. We cant take it with us and like I am finding out now; It is all things you have to pack when you move. Packing is NO FUN

 

 

~ by livinglifeandlovinit on August 11, 2008.