Am I prejudice

I was thinking last night about how I think of people and I never that of myself as prejudice until recently.

I find myself talking about people and saying these people or those people. I never did this before but now I use these phrases often. I never used to think of where a person was born or what nationality a person was until I moved here.  This is a trait I want to get rid of. I dont like this about myself.

I HATE when I person asked me where I am from and when I say the States they go into this..no really.I mean before that……your parents, grand parents.ect.when I say the states they seem to think I am telling them an untruth. I have come to see that many people on this part of the world have no idea what America is like except for what they see on the boob tube.  Many think the only Muslims are there are Arabs or Africans……when I tell them in places like Philly you can not go more than a few blocks without seeing American Muslims that are not Arabs or Africans…Just plan ole Blk Americans……

Anyway, back to my thought….when I first seperated from my husband I had a very good friend of mine tell me about this brother that was a good Muslim and was widowed. SHe said Oh I think you would get along quite nicley and when your waiting period  is up I want to set up a meeting with you. I Never thought about what nationality the man was I just thought he would be Blk or in the back of my mind maybe arab as she is married to an Arab.

well a few days later she called me and said her husband told her to call me and tell me the guy is Asian. I was like hummmmmmmmm. I dont know why but I lost interest at that moment…I didnt tell her that I told her well we can wait and see. I guess her husband kept bother her about the issue and told her to send me a  photo … when I saw a photo of him I was like NO way…he was thin maybe 150lbs soakin wet and my mind when to what am I going to do with this man other that break him……..

Then another person wanted me to marry her husband. she was very excited and sent me this photo of him at hajj ….The man was white. I just was not feeling him. Why????????? I have asian friends, White friends, one of my very best friends is WHITE, I have friends of many colors and hues but I was turned off my that man cause he was white. Later I was turned off when I found out he had no job and living overseas with no income and no stability the one thing you need is a JOB!! NOT a second wife..

But I asked myself the question why did I react so harshly. These men could have been great men but I didnt think of them becuase of their nationality and body size. If a people did that to me I am sure I would be hurt.

I just kept thinking I was not attracted to these men at all no way shape of form…..I know that is ok, I know you have to have some attraction to a person to marry them but was my lack of attraction becuase he was Asian??

I asked another friend of mine about my feelings aans she sadi well when my daughter desides to marry a big part of our decision will be on the passport they hold. SHe went on to say that it is hard when you can go places and your spouse cant……..TRUE………

But she also went into the different people she didnt think would make good husbands..I listens and agreed with some of what she said…

then I thought WHY do I think this way? The only thing I know about these people are what I have been told or things I see…..not experience

So my question is am I normal??

Do we all have some type of prejudice traits?

Is it ok to not want to marry a man becuause of what he looks like?

I dont want to think of myself as prejudice but the fact is …………maybe I am!!!!