EID
Today is Eid. For those of you that dont know what EId is …..Its like a Muslim Christmas…….We give gifts and we pray and we visit family……..Well this is what we are suppose to do.
Not me. The down side to being away from family and friends is you spend holidays alone………..So today I am going to watch TV and read a book…My kids will be busy with their new toys……My Ex called……on his way to pray…..This is what my life has turned into………Talking to my EX………WTH, I need to get out more…..
I was suppose to get married this weekend……..wow, what a drop…….this is suppose to be a good week…….I had plans.I was going to the spa tomorrow and get myself ready for my new man…But instead he is with his family. he emailed me last night…….told me he did what I asked him to do. I knew he would……He said his life is crappy but gettin back to normal…….I hope so. I pray it does…..I just wish I could have a small piece of it…Last Eid we were all together…we had a great time..we went out to dinner at this crappy resturant…then our kids went to a fair and rode all the rides with him. That was the best.
This Eid I am alone…..but it is ok whatever does not kill us makes us stronger ………right………….right…….dang…..I should be strong as HEL* by now
Wow, I read your very very personal posts. As a woman my heart goes out to you. I wish I could give you a hug and make it ok for you. Give you some comfort.
I went back and read your entire blog. Seems like you have some tough choices ahead of you but you are on the right track.
Anyway, the real man you should seek in this time is Allah.
Happy EID.
Thanks!!! Yeah I know this stuff is personal but I just write what I feel. I THINK Im going in the right direction. But at times I feel like I take 2 steps forward just to go 2 steps back……sigh ;(
Yup, I am seeking Allah. the one thing about my man I WANT to marry is we would get up in the middle of the night and pray. He would buzz me on messanger and say ok, now go make wodu and pray..meet me back here when your done. After that we would talk.. I just LOVED that about him…We would wonder who would wake up whom to pray once we were married…….It wasnt just about sex with us. we wanted to build a life together..A life built around prayer and faith and trust in Allah…He wanted to be there for my kids..He wanted to make me happy becuase he knew how sad my life had been…..HE MADE ME LAUGH… I miss his voice..his smile… his laugh.. I just miss him…and I will make dua to Allah to fix this heart of mine…
Im glad my reply made you smile.
Just remember, that everything happens exactly as it should, no matter how things may seem to appear.